Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"I'm afraid she's on her way out..." "We all are--act acordingly."

Well it's been about a week, or over a week since I last updated you with my shit list, so this week I thought I'd go ahead and right this wheel spinning out of control and drop some brown-ass loving...that didn't sound right....on you.

As much crap as there was out there this past year, there were some really, really good movies that also came out. I truly feel it was the year of Robert Downey, JR. but 2008 was really good to a lot of people, too.

So here we go:

Top Ten Best Examples of Cinematic Glory in 2008:

10.) Young People Fucking.

That just sounds like it shouldn't be any good whatsoever. It really, really doesn't. It just comes off as something thats either going to be smut disguised as art (a la 'The Brown Bunny') , or it could've been highly pretentious like After Sex. But the end result from this practically no name cast is an independent masterstroke, destined for cult status. It's funny, well written, and smart. What impressed me most is the movie feels like it couldn't have been shot for more than 15 dollars, but the ambition of the film feels like that of a summer block buster. It's a movie with a lot of heart, a savvy view on modern day relationships. It's a lot more than just a title with a swear, it's got a lot of heart.

9.) In Bruges.

Collin Farrell is in top for in In Bruges, playing a role I think is best suited for him; a sardonic hitman trying to cut his teeth in the assassination business (I don't remember that table at Career Day) and is being mentored by an aging hitman looking forward to retirement, played by Brendan Gleeson. But apparently Farrell can be a fuck up, and Gleeson is hired to take him out. Hijinx ensue, accents to be had, twist endings galore!

8a.) Charlie Barlett.

This film got so many delays, and that sucks because I kind of feel it got overshadowed and buried. I think it could have done so much more if it would have gotten a proper push, but regardless this is still the little film that could. Kat Dennings, Anton Yelchin, Tyler Hilton (not related to Paris, thank God) and Robert Downey, JR. all give A+ performances.

As far as movies centered around High School, this one is much more believable than most of the other basically exploitation films out there. But Bartlett itself is part Catcher in the Rye, part Abbie Hoffman.

Not only is it a funny, smart, quirky, fast and endearing movie, I also feel parents who don't feel they understand their teenage kids should watch it to get either a reminder, or an idea of what they might be going through. Every kid has an identity crisis, sure, but so do adults when they work jobs that they don't have the heart to continue.

8b.) Step Brothers.

HI-LARIOUS. Thats all that can be said. The only reason it's not higher on this list is because it's more one-dimensional than the other films, but god damn it...funniest movie of the year. Long live the comedy team of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly!

Not to be over looked, Mary Steenburgen, Richard Jenkins, Adam Scott and Rob Riggle round out this ensemble perfectly. It's almost entirely worth owning this movie for hearing Steenburgen say, "What the fucking fuck?!" to be quite honest.

But only Ferrell and Reilly could make this premise work on any tangible level. Months before it was released, I found myself scratching my head every time I read about it wondering how in the hell they would pull it off, but they knocked it out of the park.

Their knack for improvisation is unparalleled (except maybe by another Frat Pack alumni, Steve Carrel) and I'd be surprised if the script had any actual dialogue whatsoever. The only thing that could have made this a bit better would have if Riggle would've gotten a bigger part.

7.) Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?

Morgan Spurlock is a fucking genius. Anyone who disagrees with that is a pinko bastard commie who doesn't deserve to not only watch movies, but is also not intelligent enough to enjoy a documentary that isn't about penguins (although it's a great documentary). Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden is an exercise in journalistic integrity and documentary film making that Michael Moore couldn't even fathom of doing on his best day.

It's interesting to see how vastly different our cultures are (including Spurlock having to grow a beard and tan in order to be safe in certain countries.)

Morgan Spurlock isn't afraid to ask the questions we're too scared to ask, or pursue a villain thats been pushed out of our minds eye in lieu of the Iraqi war. His brave style of film making, coupled with his razor sharp wit and daring add up to making such an documentary way it should be made.

I have such a great deal of respect for Spurlock, and everything he does seems to push the envelope of the boundaries we've made for ourselves in this post 9/11 world.

5.) Pineapple Express.

I want Seth Rogen inside of me. With his humor, not with his wang. That being said, this guy is on fire. It seems like almost anything he's ever touched has been nothing short of solid gold (minus the slight misstep with Zack and Miri Make a Porno) and you throw in Danny McBride, James Franco, Gary Cole, Craig Robinson and a cameo by Bill Hader;'s almost impossible for it to be anything less than noteworthy.

The concept was original; who doesn't like stoner comedies? Who doesn't like raucous adventure flicks? This movie had it all. Plus, it dabbled with teenage tang. You go, Rogen. Thats the American dream! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

4.) Iron Man.

I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it once more: 2008 was the year of Downey, JR. If you disagree (which you're entitled too) you probably thought Speed Racer was criminally underrated. Raise your hand if you feel that way, then look around and notice you're all alone, and you've just become King of the Assholes.

Terrance Howard is in top form, as is Jeff Bridges. This ensemble set the tone for what comic book movies could really be, and how mainstream audiences perceived the genre as well.

Iron Man succeeds because even though it's a big budget movie, every cent was wisely spent, and I'm not even going to pretend I'm not salivating for the moment the sequel is released. I could watch RDJ zip around in a red suit of armor, and Terrance Howard be Terrance Howard for two hours, and I'd pay 13 dollars for the privilege happily.

3.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I really didn't expect this movie to be as amazing as it was. It had a lot working against it, being nearly three hours long and being based off of the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Obviously some liberties were going to be taken given the fact that there wasn't as much content to work with, but in the end every decision made paid off royally. Brad Pitt delivers ten-fold with his performance, and every moment of this movie is just entrancing.

I really like that with this kind of a movie they took time to go into depth with the characters, and really flesh them out so they didn't stand as just pawns in a chess game. It wasn't rushed at all, and you'd think that being nearly three hours long would hurt the movie, but to be honest you get lost in it so easily you barely even notice it.

What I found particularly interesting was they way the handled events happening during the time-line, and I won't spoil it for you, but it's one of those little nuances that for me make a movie more than just a few hours of entertainment.

Cate Blanchett...I don't think I've ever seen her do better, truthfully. This is a role where she was used so properly, and how she rose to the occasion is just great to see. I really think she should be a shoe-in for Lead Actress.

2.) Slumdog Millionaire.

Holy. Shit.

This is the little movie that could. Theres a lot of hype around this movie, and for good cause too--it's just amazing. Nothing short of flawless. Danny Boyle brought his A-game with newcomers Freida Pinto (this was her debut movie!) and Dev Patel.

Boyle doesn't know what the definition of mediocre, and I'm convinced he may be an unstoppable tour de force.

I had no idea what to expect from Slumdog, other than Boyles' name was attached. That's honestly enough for me to check it out. But I was surprised to find out that it was at the core of it all, a love story. Damn it! Fooled!

Jamal and Latika had some real serious problems, yet through it all they persevered. Suck on that, Romeo and Juliet, you immature pricks.

But this film shows the transition India is facing; one of staunch tradition to a more modern society; poverty to vast wealth. The evolution of each of the characters is endlessly fascinating, and I left this movie feeling like I'd gained something.

Theres so much depth, heart and soul in Slumdog that it's nearly impossible not to fall in love with this movie. People have asked why I like this movie so much, and I wish I could explain it. If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest you remedy that as soon as possible, if not sooner.

1.) The Spirit...Okay, thats just a bold face lie, but drumroll please!

1.) The Dark Knight.

No surprises here. Heath Ledger brought something to the legacy of one of Batman comics' fans favorite villains of all time in the Joker.

Initially I felt it was absurd to say Ledgers performance was on the level with Jack Nicholson's portrayal, but after watching it I have to say it's just impossible to compare either because they are so monumentally different.

Christian Bale is my favorite Bruce Wayne thats been cast, but as Batman...that voice he does is irksome, though I appreciate the effort of disguising it.

But the cast here...Morgan Freeman, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, and Michael Caine all make bring nothing less than their collective bests. And none of them seem to try to upstage each other, which is amazing to me. Every one of the aforementioned actors could quite easily be a marquee draw themselves, but in working together they've built something thats going to stand the test of time.

For everything that Iron Man did for the comic book genre, the Dark Knight flipped it on its ear entirely.

Despite the passing of Ledger, it doesn't over shadow the film itself. I feel the attention, while deserved after having seen it for myself, on the Joker takes away from how amazing Eckhart did with Two-Face/Dent. Aaron brings such a phenomenal performance to the table thats criminally overlooked, yet understandably so.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is in my opinion the only weak link in this movie. That sad faced turtle made me nearly want to scream at the screen every time her dopey face came into view. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, and bad ass vigilante--Harvey Dent is regarded as Gotham's White Knight. You mean to tell me that ugly broad is who their scrapping over? Thats the hardest part of this movie for me to believe.

But the writing, the cinematography, the delivery...everything here was done so masterfully that it's not hard to see why this film grossed nearly a billion dollars world wide.

Well thats it. Tune in soon for my wrap up of books, honorable mention movies and music of 2008. It won't be a week between this time I hope.

See ya in the lobby!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

See madness is like gravity. All it needs is a little push.

To be quite honest, while there were some awesome movies released in 2008, by and large I felt it was actually kind of a turd-fest year. You had such 'memorable' class acts such as M. Night Shamalamadingdong's 'return to form' in his much touted 'first R-rated film' with The Happening, to and absolute waste of Jonah Hill in Strange Wilderness. Not all was lost, though. 2008 saw not only a resurgence, but a complete revitalization of Robert Downey, JR with two runaway hits in Iron Man and Tropic Thunder (not to mention his great performance in Charlie Bartlett). 2008 was the year of Robert Downey, JR without a doubt.

So, just like Miles did with his recent update, I will be giving my year-end lists, from 'best of's', to 'oh my god I actually devoted time to this hunk of absolute shit'. Here we go.

Top Ten Biggest Examples of Cinematic Diarrhea in 2008:

As I mentioned previously, I felt this year wasn't exactly a strong one for cinema. Unfortunately, I have this love affair with movies. They have a hold on me. Even when I don't want too, they make me watch them. It's like Hollywood is an abusive spouse, and I'm a lonely girl from Montana with big dreams. They keep promising me the moon, and giving me the gutter.

10.) Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins:

(Fun little piece of trivia, my face mirrored the look of shock and disgust this screen shot also shares with the movie.)

I don't know what in God's name I was thinking. I want to believe in Martin Lawrence, I really do. It was so bad that I'm sure it could've been higher up on my list had I not blocked a great portion of it out of my head. Like a bad break-up, I spent weeks trying to drink this away and I think I may have actually succeeded. My only regret is that I had to relieve the momentary horror by recapping it here. Well...that, and having seen the movie.

9.) You Don't Mess With the Zohan:

How much longer can Adam Sandler continue his rain of shit? He hasn't had anything worth writing home about in so long, and it boggles my mind that his fan base continuously (and ravenously) supports his movies. I know he's capable of better, we all know that with such comedic classics as Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.

I get it, though. He's a likable guy, he's genuinely funny and despite how you may feel about it, this is a guy that knows what his fan base wants and expects from him. Sure, he's thrown a few curve balls with some independent jaunts, but he still keeps true to what his fans want.

The problem is you can only have so many jokes about something like Hummus and a poor accent going for so long. What's that? Mariah Carrey was in this too? Fuck...thats a heavy decline from a Bob Barker cameo (The price is wrong, bitch. Strange how that applies.)

8.) How To Lose Friends and Alienate People:

Oh man, I feel so sorry for EVER lumping Simon Pegg into a category like this. The only thing that salves my burning conscience is the fact that he wasn't to blame whatsoever for this terrible movie. The two major problems of this movie didn't involve him whatsoever due to his genitalia and his nationality. I know that sounds creepy, so please let me elaborate:

As far as his genitalia being brought into the proverbial picture and it not being held accountable...a major problem with this movie was the casting of Kirsten Dunst. Every time I see her on screen I want to call the poor girl a dentist to fix those GOD AWFUL teeth. You were in the Spider Man series, for God's sake. I know you have money, bitch. Please get them fixed and stop offending me.

The other reason is Pegg's nationality. Yes, it actually saved him. I'll explain:

American's don't know how to use Simon Pegg. He's at his best when he's scheming with his British-y cohorts Nick Frost and Edgar Wright. American film makers by and large (as well as that particular audience) don't understand the magic of subtlety, especially when it comes to comedy. They have to be led by the hand to the punch line, and then beaten over the head with it, much like a mallet in those old cartoons. American film makers do not know how to use Pegg, because the vast majority of the audiences don't get half the reasons why Spaced was such a great show and must never be reproduced like original Office.

7.) Be Kind Rewind:

I like Mos Def, I really like Danny Glover, Michel Gondry is cool and I want to like Jack Black. The idea for this film was pretty unique, I think. It just didn't translate well, and in the end it was just...boring. It was such a shame to see this kind of a goose-egg come out of these actors and director with so much talent and promise. I feel like Jack Black hasn't found where he really fits at in movies, which is sad to see, but I know one day he will find his stride.

6.) Semi-Pro:

(I too have hoop dreams, coach.)

I like Will Ferrell. There aren't many people that don't. I also really, really like a lot of the supporting cast in this. Hell, I even love Andre 3000 and wish Outkast were still making music, because rap-hip hop, at least the modern version of it, is almost completely unlistenable.

Will Ferrell for some reason loves to make schticky sports themed comedies. Talladega Nights, that skating one...there was probably another in there somewhere but I just don't care to rehash it right now, and I really wish he'd just fucking stop. He's capable of making some of the best characters come to life. And the mad genius about him is that some of these characters are so far-fetched, I truly believe there isn't another actor out there that could make me believe it besides him. Take Step Brothers for example. What he and John C. Reilly did there was basically poetry, in a way.

But Semi-Pro is just abysmal. The writing was poor, it was entirely too predictable, and this is a role we've seen a thousand times from Ferrell. I honestly do fear he's gonna get type cast in this mediocre-to-poor type of role one day, and that could be the death knell for American Comedies. If you don't think he's not a major part of the reason why rated-R comedies are making a comeback these days, then you're absolutely fucking wrong.

5.) Wanted:

After seeing this movie, I 'wanted' (see what I did there?) to gouge myself in the testicles with something rusty. Why? Because at one time I think Angelina Jolie might've been really beautiful, but now that she's adopted 10,000 Ethiopian children and apparently wants them to feel more at home so she's taken to starving herself, and now she's become the epitome of boner-killing. If boner killing were a category of the Razzies (which I fully content that that category should be created now because of what old Skeletor has become) then she'd win not only the inaugural award, but lifetime achievement for it in the same trip to the podium.

Did Morgan Freeman sign a contract drunkenly right after the wrap up party for Driving Miss Daisy, and that contract stated that he had to be in every single movie thats been released from then on out, despite how good or bad it may be? He can't be enjoying these roles whatsoever. But God help me, every time that man is on screen my heart flutters. He could shine a turd into a diamond if he were given enough time. Unfortunately that whiny little bitch James McAvoy sits on screen too long, acting from his vagina and having it bleed everywhere the entire time. "Oh, I'm not sure if I can curve a bullet, everyones being mean to me, I'm going to pout and cry."

"Oh, but it was like the Matrix..." Fuck off. The first Matrix was (at best) alright, and everything after that was worse than watching someone you love set your pets on fire.

4.) W.:

I want to marry Elizabeth Banks. It's unfortunate that she's worked with Judd Apatow in the past (he's been known to give up and comers the advice of "Just saying no. Come into this business saying no), but still seems to take every role she can. But I understand, and am grateful because watching her in any capacity makes my entire week better. However, W. is such a processed, manufactured piece of absolute wretched filth and shit that I hope to God Oliver Stone (who put out Platoon, one of the greatest movies of all time) should never be allowed to even watch TV again.

Politically speaking, I find this film over overwhelmingly insulting. The timing of it, the "it's funny cause he's a joke" pandering that so much of Hollywood (and the media) is known to do. It's demeaning, and I'm glad this movie barely recouped what it cost to make it in the first place.

Somewhere along the line Stone lost the ability to have an original thought, and instead opted to only make topical movies about tragedies and disaster not even a decade old yet. I understand that some of these topic should be made into movies because forgetting about them is absolutely atrocious on so many levels, but with him making the movie about the World Trade Center (movie of the same name) was nothing short of exploitation and taking advantage of a wound not even six years old (at the time the movie was released).

The problem I have with this movie is why did he wait until Election Day to release it? What the fuck is the point of having a message like that? It's akin to that of the Titanic's SOS calls being answered after it was already rusting on the ocean floor and Jack was already digesting in sharks bellies. It's cowardice, its spineless and its pandering in its highest form.

How long until Stone pitches the idea for Katrina: Waves of Doom? Prick.

The film itself can be somewhat fair, which I suppose is nice. But it still reeks of the hypocritical nature of not only the film maker, but the audience it's intended for. "Look, he talks funny. Hyuck, hyuck, a-hyuck! He mispronounced nuclear! What a tool!" Yeah...except that guy has access to the button, and no one tried to impeach him.

3.) The Happening:

M Night Shamalamadingdong (referenced and linked above, and yes I refuse to acknowledge his birth name, as anyone who could continuously churn out crap like this can't possibly have a soul. At least not a human one) should be thrown into Guantanamo Bay and be forced to work off every cent he's made off a movie since right Signs. And even that movie was pure projectile vomit for half of it, so he should have to work off that as well. And he should be forced at gun-point. If he stops too long to wipe the sweat off his brow, they should shoot him dead.

Trees. TREES, are you fucking kidding me? Thats the big twist, wind and trees? In the real world it would have taken me three seconds to figure out what was 'happening' (I did it again), and I'd put on a gas mask, let a few more idiots die and then go to town on those trees with a chain saw. Are you fucking kidding me? I still can't believe it was trees. Trees are about as scary as fucking marshmallows. They only time they cause real danger is if a kid falls off one, or one falls off you. But I live in Arizona. We don't have fucking trees here, so maybe I'm missing something.

See in Arizona, we have things called 'Cactus'. I'm sure you might've heard of them. What a lot of people who don't know what a real desert looks like might not know is that one of the cacti's cousins is called a "jumping cactus". Broken down simply, it shoots it's needles at you. It's natures pipe bomb, and it fucking hurts. Make a movie about that, Shamalamskateran. It's a whole hell of a lot more believable. If someone dies because they are allergic to trees or something, that gets a somewhat pass, but if you kill yourself because of it's pollen....good. I'm glad that happened.

A tree?! Really?! The thing we hang tire swings and build clubhouses in?

2.) Strange Wilderness:

I only have myself to blame for this. I should have known, I really should of. But I has Jonah Hill in it! It has Kevin Heffernan! It should have been, on paper, so much more. But as things like this go, it was bad, bad, bad. God damn, it still stings.

I suppose it's my fault thought. I assumed comedies were supposed to be fun, but you know what they say about assuming...

1.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skulls:

I've never in my wildest nightmares, even for a moment, would have expected myself to hate anything Indiana Jones related. I honestly had no idea.

I not only hated it, I almost walked out of the theater right after his miraculous survival technique of hiding in a refrigerator while a nuke was dropped.

Aliens. Aliens do not belong in fucking Indiana god damned Jones, and I don't give a fuck what George Lucas or Steven Spielberg thinks. You want aliens, fuck-twats? Go remake ET. I won't watch that one, either.

This is one of the biggest atrocities to ever happen, but the biggest downside is the inevitable turn that its going to take for the worse. Because this movie made so much money, LucasFilm will assume that it's alright to continue sharting on this beloved classic, just like he did with Star Wars. And I'm the biggest asshole here, because when Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Killing My Childhood Memories comes out in the next few years, I'll be there front and center weeping into my popcorn and thumbing a revolver.

Shia LaBeouf has no business in this movie. I don't hate him necessarily, but I have no idea what he did or who he has naked pictures of in compromising positions that enables him to be in so many of these big movies. It seems like just a few years ago he was Lindsay Lohan's bitch on Disney, but somehow he's here riding a motorcycle and making Indy somehow sit bitch. I don't understand it, I don't like it, and I feel like Lucas and Spielberg should be hung for allowing this idea to get off the ground. I wish when I hit puberty I got a sense of entitlement I didn't deserve, and it allowed me to be in big blockbusters, no matter how shitty.

When you come into a movie with low expectations, but still do it with a smile because the franchise was so amazing, and you still have your heart dashed to bits...thats just some kind of all time low.

To read what my initial reaction was to this movie, I highly suggest clicking this link. I'm not one to do movie reviews, but under the guise of an open letter, I aired my broken heart and anguish.

I can't even write about how badly fuck this movie anymore. It literally pains me too much to do so. This should have never been made, and I have no idea why Lucas continues to fucking shit on his own legacy. Would some one please tell him to stop? It's gotten to the point where I didn't even watch the Clone Wars. No one did, and to be's the only piece of the Star Wars puzzle I haven't bought into in some shape or form.

Thats all I have for now. I need to grab a shower to wash the dirty off of me. I feel like a prostitute who got 'stiffed' (I keep doing it) out of her money. Kind of like if her vagina was a Taxi, and as soon as the guy got where he was going he ran out without paying. Thats exactly how I feel right now.

Come back tomorrow night when I have my best of list for movies, and maybe if I feel up to the task my favorite albums of 2008.

Until then, I'll see ya in the lobby.


Monday, January 5, 2009

All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pull me through time.

I just finished reading Fugitives and Refugees by Chuck Palahniuk. It was his little guidebook in a way for Portland, Oregon. Even though I've never been to PO or have any plans to go (although I would fucking love to!), I had a great time reading this book and imagining what a blast it would be to go up there and check out all the spots still in tact and up and running using the book as a guide. I'm sure like roughly a little more than half are still around, but I heard it's a beautiful place to check out anyway. This was the last Chuck book I had yet to read and now I'm all caught up. He is easily one of my favorite authors, but has not written my favorite book. My favorite book would be...well here's a top 5 of my favorite books.

1. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
2. Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffeneggar
3. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
4. The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King (7 books in all. I'm currently reading the 6th book, but already it's kicking my ass and I'm loving it.)
5. Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk

Alright. Since it's the new year now, I thought I would post my top 10 films of 2008. I know so far there are a lot of top 5 or 10 lists, but I love lists, and you, as the reader, need to know what kind of taste Aaron and I have so you can start making fun of us or worshiping us. Either or. We don't care.

Top 10 best films of 2008

1. The Dark Knight

2. Slumdog Millionaire

3. The Wrestler

4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

5. Synecdoche, New York

6. Gran Torino

7. The Visitor

8. Funny Games

9. The Band's Visit (while being released in Israel in 2007, it wasn't released in the states till 2008).

10. Milk/Let The Right One In/Doubt???

I have yet to see Milk, Doubt, Let The Right One In (tonight possibly), and a few others, but right now I feel pretty confidant on this list. I'm saving that last spot for one of these possibly based on reviews I've read. Needless to say without the good you can't have the bad. So...

Top 10 worst films of 2008. **spoilers** but do you really care?

1. The Happening
2. Max Payne
3. The Love Guru
4. Wanted
5. Seven Pounds (I actually have yet to watch this, but a man giving away parts of his body and commits suicide via jellyfish? You fucking kidding me?!)
6. Quarantine
7. Postal
8. Hancock (didn't see this one either, but Will Smith is a jerk so here's this)
9. 10,000 BC (another shitty movie I could smell a mile away so I avoided it.)
10. Strange Wilderness (watched about 5 minutes of this and couldn't deal)

I have yet to mention music and put up any lists of albums or songs or what not. I will get to it soon enough. There's already 800 lists up here so...we'll split it up a little. Sorry there hasn't been too much substance on my blog adventures yet. There will be next time. I promise. Maybe. Aaron and I had talked of making another list of the top however many films that were the most forgettable. I would definitely throw up Tropic Thunder (with the exception of Downey Jr's performance) and Valkyrie on that list. What would be the point of listing forgettable films though? I'd like to just forget them.

Remember, feel free to comment or email ( us with suggestions for top 5 or 10 lists. I know it's only the second one, but I'd like to get creative with these lists. Let's hear 'em.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

Mission Statement:

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural edition of For Your Consideration. My name is Aaron Hale. I have two other blogs I maintain as well as For Your Consideration. Piss and Vinegar, which is more or less about politics both social and democratic. It covers pretty much anything that enrages me, or piques my interest.

The other blog is updated daily, and it's called Days Gone By. It's a chronicle of my journey into taking medication for mental health issues, as well as some stories. It's a bit more personal than either of these.

So you may be asking, "Why so many blogs, do you do anything else besides write?" The answer is I'm an aspiring writer. I'm working on a book of short stories that I hope to have published, as well as a full length novel and a comic book. Why so many blogs? Well, practice makes...less shitty. Also, the reason for three different blogs is because I want to differentiate, and be a little more versatile than just one subject, one blog.

So I'll be writing this blog with my good buddy Miles, who lives out in the Bay Area of California. He completes me. In a brotherly way, not a "It's-my-turn-to-wear-the-cowboy-hat" kinda way.

For Your Consideration will focus mostly on movies, but also touch on other interests of ours such as comic books, books, tv and music.

At least from my end it won't be a review site exactly, but rather just talking about what I like, what I hated, etc. I personally don't believe in reviewing anything because honestly...when was the last time you gave a shit about what someone else said about a new movie? Has it ever really helped you decide if you were gonna buy into something? I only trusted one review one time, and it was a positive review some shitty fashion mag posing as an "alternative" music rag gave a high score to a shitty album from the band Recover. It was one of the worst pieces of shit my ears have ever been assaulted by.

FYC will not only focus on new material, but also what we feel are classics (either classic hits, or classic shits) as well a weekly Top 5 for both Miles and I.

This is also not a gossip column. We aren't trying to be TMZ or WWTDD do. But if something completely asinine pops up, or Tom Cruise was right about'll be touched upon.

Also, FYC will also be instituting in the future an advice column. When thats up and running, please be sure to email us your questions!

Basically, the best way to describe what my input for FYC will be is...a fuck you opus and homage to pop culture. Enjoy!

These past few weeks I've been hitting the theaters pretty hard. This month I've caught Yes Man, Seven Pounds, Four Christmases, Nothing Like the Holidays, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire, Religulous and Bedtime Stories. Not all have been exactly in the theaters. I'm not the biggest fan of Holiday movies, but I wound up catching a few of them because a friend wanted the company. So why not.

Yes Man, Jim Carrey's new flick I felt was a pretty modest attempt. God help me, I'm a huge fan of Carrey's. Not only his physical/slap-stick comedies, but also his more serious attempts. That being said, this movie is pretty modest but ultimately predictable. I still feel it's worth watching because its a return to form for Jim Carrey, or at least an attempt too.

Zooey Deschanel is always fun to watch on screen, if not just for her plain Jane yet ultimately attractive addition to any movie. Somethings really inviting about her, and I really like her work. I hope to see her get some better roles in the future, because she's untapped gold.

I liked the movie alright, it's a good little filler flick to pass the time but I wouldn't ever own it. It's got some genuine laughs. It just felt, though, that Jim Carrey was a bit rusty. I'd still rather see him in a role like this than ever see him do another '23'.

Will Smith's 'Seven Pounds' is a pretty decent attempt. I really think Smith has a lot of talent, and I'm not sure why this movie has been as panned as it has been. Not a typical ending really, but it was still pretty predictable. Where it falls the flattest, I felt, was that the minor characters weren't fleshed out enough, and it felt too rushed.

Nothing Like the Holidays was absolutely fucking abysmal. I like John Leguizamo, perhaps to a fault, but this vehicle has to be the one that ends his career. I just don't see how he can ever do anything that isn't animated, or Ice Age related from here on out. At least he's always got his stand up career to fall back on.

Speaking of stand up, Bill Maher's documentary, "Religulous" is really interesting. I think it's a good answer to Ben Stein's documentary earlier this year, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." The thing is, Maher comes off completely too pompous. He's obviously intelligent, I don't think there is any doubting that, but he's always struck me as a Dennis Miller type, where he's the only one who gets half his references. I've never been a fan of Maher's stand up really, but this is definitely worth checking out.

His judgmental tone and condemning way, the whole "you're wrong and stupid" approach (or at least thats how it feels at times) can be a bit polarizing. However as a whole, this is completely intriguing, fascinating and you find yourself stunned at times at how some of these religious people really do think. I hope Maher continues to make documentaries...anything to get Michael Moore to shut the fuck up, or at least to get people to forget about him.

Some of the movies I caught have been absolutely awful. Absolutely fucking awful (Nothing Like the Holidays) to mediocre time killers (Yes Man, Four Christmases, Bedtime Stories) but there was some salvation. A lot of salvation, actually.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was an amazing movie. I really liked the short story written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and I feel the movie did it a lot of justice. Brad Pitt really shines in this film, and has allowed me to forgive him for Troy, and the last two "Ocean's".

However to be quite honest, Slumdog Millionaire (Danny Boyle's new movie) is amazing. Hands down it is the best new movie I've seen all year. Not only is Slumdog a feather in the cap of Danny Boyle, its a feather in the cap for not only Western Cinema, but Bollywood as well. It not only bridges the gap, but it effortlessly tells several stories; one of a true love story surviving every obstacle thats been thrown into it's spokes, but also one of a nation trying to move into the 21st Century. It's an intense, often funny, poignant look at not only a personal evolution of several characters--but a Nations as a whole.

I think the only possible contenders this movie truly has for 'Best Picture' have to be Clint Eastwood's new movie, 'Gran Torino' and the aforementioned 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button'. Gran Torino looks awesome. What is it about Eastwood being the wine of iconic actors? He only seems to get better with age.

Thats about all for now. I'm gonna leave you with the Top 5 Theme of the week. Make sure to check Miles' post and theme out too, and leave your comments. We would love to hear feedback. If you'd like, you can email me at: with suggestions (even for Top Five themes!) or anything else you'd like to see discussed. Oh, and spread the word!

This weeks Top Five Theme: Movies I Grew Up With.

5.) Indiana Jones (whole damned original troilogy):

Who can honestly say they didn't even like one of the original Indiana Jones' movies? Probably a communist, or someone who's just generally dissatisfied with their lives. Or wife-beaters. This movie sparked a love of fedora's and bull whips in a young man's eyes. I only wish to one day use said bull whip to teach Steven Speilberg and George Lucas not to hash out shitty remakes. Please Lucas, stop raping my childhood.

4.) Back to The Future (again, whole series):

"Marrtttyyyyyyyy!" An elderly mad genius abusing a DeLorean, flux compacitors, implied incest and Marty McFly. This trilogy had everything you could ever possibly want in a film.

3.) Ghostbusters:

Ghostbusters is a mater piece, no doubt about it. For its time, the special effects weren't too shabby, and its basically Bill Murray and Harold Ramis show. Ramis and Murray are the definition of 'epic duo' and when they came to the silver screen, they never did anything half-assed. With a great supporting cast, they made me realize that I too wasn't afraid of ghosts. Especially not Zuul or the Stay Puft Man. In fact, I'm fairly certain they're a bunch of punk asses.

2.) Dawn of the Dead (the Original):

This is a gory classic. I don't think theres any denying that, but what I appreciate mostly about this movie (especially now that I'm older) is it's subtle social commentary on consumerism, and our inhumane nature when survival is the only thing left to do . George A. Romero did so much more with a shoe-string budget than most of the people he's influenced (and they have a bottomless bankroll backing them). It also drove me to spend countless hours planning what I'd do in case the pending Zombie Apocalypse ever came my way.

1.) Star Wars (the original trilogy):

Speaking of George Lucas raping my childhood..Star Wars comes in at numero uno. Epic. Master piece. Untouchable. Firmly one of the solidifying reasons why I'm not so good with women.

But the story is untouchable. There isn't one weak link of an actor, and each performance is classic. The other trilogy really has no right to carry the Star Wars moniker, but the truth had nowhere to go but down. It took Lucas two decades to try and continue on, and he couldn't do it any justice whatsoever.

The story will live on forever, and Star Wars has set a bar not only for sci-fi movies, but action-adventure and romantic movies as well.


That's all for now, thanks for stopping by. Again, please spread the word.

See ya in the lobby.